I ventured to the dark side today...

...and it was a little satisfying!

Yes folks, I fear I am becoming what was once foreign and strange to me. Something that just never made sense to me before. Something that was so creepy and scary and abnormal that I swore I would never become one of those people. But, I think I may have made my first step into that world today. It was all so innocent - the girls were with me for crying out loud! I didn't realize what I was doing at the time. But, worse than that, I realized what I did soon after and (gulp) didn't do anything to correct it! And you know what? It felt GOOD. Liberating almost. I'm sickened by it and thrilled to bone all at the same time.

Good lord I'm at the edge right now, about to step off into that world. And I'm not sure I want to stop myself! What is happening to me? The pull is soooo strong I fear I can't resist it much longer. I don't think I want to resist it. Oh why me? Why, why, why? Don't I have enough things to worry about right now? Is this really necessary for me? Oh won't someone help me? Help me to stop the madness before it starts! Or maybe help me through the initiation into becoming one of those people. What am I saying? I can't think clearly....my knees are weak....is it hot in here?...I'm.....So.....Scared....

I know my life is about to change. Some of you are going to look at me differently. Please don't judge me. There are so many out there that have done what I've done. It can't really be all that bad if so many people are doing it, right?

Okay, I'm just going to put it out there. Ready? I know some of you can handle this but I'm not so sure about others. Those that have serious medical conditions and expecting mothers should use caution if they decide to continue reading from this point forward. Okay. Deep breath. Here I go:

I BOUGHT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS - IN OCTOBER!!! I know how horrible that sounds to some of you. It almost hurts to see it in print. But I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I knew something like this was going to happen! I've been having these thoughts lately. Thoughts of Christmas. Thoughts of getting presents early this year. First they were just thoughts of "oh, the girls would like this" whenever I'd see something at work. And then I started to worry if whatever toy it was would still be there in a couple of months. It is Costco after all - if you don't buy it when you see it, you probably lost your chance! So then the thoughts started to come. Buy it for Christmas. Sure they'll still love it as much in two months as they would now. Who cares if it's just going to sit in a closet for two months? At least you'll have it! That's one less thing you'll have to do in the next two months. Not to mention everyone around me buying things up so they don't have to do it in two months. And so they have whatever it is that is not going to be there in two months. They made it look so easy. Like there was no stigma at all attached to it. Like everyone in the world was doing it. They were professionals!

At any rate, I just bought two boxes of ornaments, a wreath holder and a jingle bell wreath. That's all. I feel so ashamed but glad I don't have to do it in two months. It wasn't hectic, trying to pick it out. There was a huge selection so I didn't have to settle for whatever was left. I could take my time, take my pick even. It was pure heaven. I'm now thinking about picking up a gift a week for the next few weeks. Just one. I'll take it slow. I don't want to rush into this until I'm sure it's the direction that I want to go.

And thus concludes my journey to the dark side. But you sometimes have to go through the darkness to reach the light (good lord they've got me! aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh).